9:07 pm

Oh wow, look at that October is already done in a week, I can't believe this! I have already started buying presents for birthdays coming up and christmas, little by little since I am a poor struggling student with lack of funds so I have to buy them one small step at a time. I got Mackenzie & my moms birthday presents already considering their birthdays are in like 2 weeks! Holy cow, stoked though.

I am very, very content and happy with myself lately. I have just felt so good, like nothing is missing in my life at all. I just wish there were more hours in the day to get me by and be able to finish all the things I want to accomplish everday. I am trying so hard to keep ahead in bio and math that my brain might explode, midterms are already coming up next week and I am terrified!

I feel so good I think it's because it's been months since I have officially kicked the SWED habit, jesus looking back on it I realize how pathetic I was to have to rely on smoking weed everyday, and how everything was boring unless I was high. I lost all motivation, got paranoid way too easy, and just distanced myself from everyone that really matters in my life. Not smoking weed anymore has honestly made my life so much better, I can't believe how much time I wasn't being 'addicted' to such a stupid thing, I regret it almost. I honestly just get so mad when I think about how much time and effort I wasted where I could have been doing stuff to benefit my life but instead I decided to blaze and lounge. Not cool, I am almost 20 I need to get my priorities straight before it's too late. School, and working are my number 1 priorities right now, not drinking, not partying, not smoking weed. Those things don't even cross my mind as much. I've been having a few drinks on fridays with the ladies but I'm not wasting my nights partying and getting plastered and spending the next day hungover doing nothing at all, I would much rather go to work, come home, do a bunch of school go out for a few drinks afterwards and just hang out.

blek, anyways I need to find a new job, my work has decided to cut everyones hours drastically where it's almost to the point of going to work not even being worth it anymore. Driving an hour there and an hour back every day for a five hour shift is pretty pointless if you ask me. I'd much rather spend that 200 dollar gas money a month if not more, on helping out my mom more than for gas. ri-dic-youuuuuuu-lus.

anyways! I must head back to some bio for now and then pass out, tomorrow is supposed to be filled with snow again so I'll probably be stuck in traffic for hours on end, yet again. gah.



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